Advertise On Buki's Blog

Advertise On Buki's Blog
Contact: bukiotuyemi@gmail.com

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

See Possibilities As You Go Into 2015



Wow, the year 2014 is running speedily to an end and what a year it has been for me. I've had my fair share of love, hurt, betrayals, pains, miracles, laughter, fun, grief, goodbyes, hellos and what have you. It is a year that I honestly cannot wait for to be over because I believe more positive things will happen for you and I in 2015. Yes, I'm towing the optimistic way and you should too because it helps one focus, aim and achieve more.

2015 for me, will be a year of endless possibilities, so help me God. I intend to disallow bad behaviours, negative and envious people, schemers, frenemies, etc from having a hold over my life. It must be a fresh start for me. Life is too short for us not to live it well and right, right?


What's your 2015 looking like?


Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Be A Helper To These Children - AllHeartAlways


Two years ago, I discovered a school in the heart of Maryland, Lagos and it turned my life around. It was a nursery and primary school and it was literally falling apart. The roof was crumbling and leaking, they had not had water and light in about two years. The lack of water meant the children could not use the toilet facilities and often had to be sent home if they needed to do number 2! Sadly, the school is built round a bend and often, when the wee ones tried to cross the road while rushing home to do their business, they got into the way of oncoming vehicles. It was heartbreaking.


Even worse for me was the fact that the day I went there, there was a very young boy in a tattered uniform. Apparently the tailor had told the father the worn-out uniform was beyond redemption after numerous trips to be stitched in the past, and warned him not to bring it back for mending. The father was beside himself with worry over getting the boy a new set of uniform, even as he spun the poor boy around, sort of mentally willing the the holes to magically sew themselves up . I was gutted and I immediately paid for two new pairs of uniforms for him. Fortunately, the organization I work with  was able to provide the school with water and light as a part of the annual CSR project, which the school still enjoys till date.

Water and soap for the students to guard against Ebola.

A few weeks ago, one of my advertisers Cake Mayor got the kids a big and absolutely delicious vanilla and chocolate sponge cake. :) No thanks to traffic and what not, the school had closed by the time we arrived but the principal asked that I come over the next day in order to take a few pictures with the kids.

Cake by CakeMayor
Cutiefuls
Adorables

Myself (second from right) and some members of staff
Sadly, the roof of the school is still undone although the children have been relocated temporarily to a recently renovated block nearby belonging to the primary school students. They have to share the limited space and it is so cramped and uncomfortable. A kindhearted donor has offered the school roofing sheets worth about a million Naira but the school needs about N500,000 to get the old roof off, the weak wood replaced and the new roof fixed. They clearly cannot afford this cost and their previous appeals to the authorities have gone unanswered so far. 

I am therefore using this medium to try to help them raise the funds needed to get the roof fixed and the kids back in class. There's a whole lot to be done like painting and getting the children and their teachers the right chairs and desks but I know the roof is a priority for now.

Pictures of the ceiling in a classroom

Damaged ceilings of another classroom

Dilapidated roof. :(

The letter written to the company that donated the roofing sheets. Bless.


We cannot turn a blind eye to what's going on around us or wait around till the government gets around to fixing this up. The little children should be our main concern here because they are the victims here. The onus lies on you and I to help them and their fully dedicated teachers and principal realize their dream of classrooms that are leak-free and not water-logged. We can do this and we will. If you are willing to be a part of this #AllHeartsAlways #LetsRoof campaign, please donate into the account below:

Bank: WEMA Bank
Account Number: 0122330603
Account Name: Community Primary School Wasimi

I will be monitoring the process and will give constant feedback as to the progress of the project. Nothing is to small because every little donation you give will help and go a long way in achieving this dream.

Thank you so very much. Let's do this. :)

Monday, 29 December 2014

Life And The Hard Stuff It Dishes


Life is about lighting up the lives and times and moments of others besides ourselves. I hope I have managed to do this so far and I intend to keep at it. Life isn't easy or fair but I'm learning these more and more, daily.



Sometimes it feels like just when things are starting to add up finally,  life chooses to throw in some complex mathematics that seems practically insolvable. Sigh. For instance, just when we thought disappearing planes and plane crashes were done for the year, a whole Airbus carrying 162 people from Indonesia to Singapore ups and disappears. It is believed that the plane might have crashed after a request by the pilot to climb higher mid-flight was refused due to traffic. I shudder to think of the several lives that would be affected by his devastating tragedy.

I, myself , am dealing with a personal tragedy of mine. A former colleague, friend and neighbor passed away on Saturday, avoidably nonetheless. It hurts to recall how broken her hubby seemed yesterday at the thought that his "virtuous wife" is gone forever. Indeed Bose was one of a kind. She was smart, intelligent and caring. Sh had so much going for her that it really hurts to know that she's been cut down in her prime. No one saw this coming, it's a tough pill to swallow. 




With so many tragedies occurring left, right, centre and around about us, I've chosen to focus on the positive things and try hard to accept the sad news for what they are.  I've chosen not to give up on life and people, but to do my part in making the world a better place. 




I'm learning to accept life and it's tricks. One step at a time, one day at a time too.

Rest in peace to all those who died in his December 2014.

Rest in peace Abosede Adebomi. 


Tramaine Hawkins - The Potter's House

I found this oldie but goodie, a very beautiful song with inspiring lyrics. Listen, read and be encouraged.





Lyrics: The Potter's House by Tramaine Hawkins

Verse 1: 
In case you have fallen by the wayside of life; 
dreams and visions shattered, You're all broken inside. 
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in; 
the potter wants to put you back together again, 
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again. 

Verse 2: 
In case your situation has turned upside down, 
and all that you've accomplished, is now on the ground. 
You don't have to stay in the shape that you're in; 
the potter wants to put you back together again, 
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again. 

Chorus: 
You who are broken, stop by the potter's house. 
You who need mending, stop by the potter's house; 
give Him the fragments of your broken life, 
my friend, the potter wants to put you back together again, 
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again 

Vamp: 
Joy in the potter's house. 

Peace in the potter's house. 

Love in the potter's house. 

There is salvation in the potter's house. 

There is healing in the potter's house. 

There is deliverance in the potter's house. 

You'll find everything you need in the potter's house. 

Ending: 
The potter wants to put you back together again, 
oh, the potter wants to put you back together again 

Saturday, 27 December 2014

To Snoop Or Not To Snoop?



Many years ago, some friends and I were discussing about infidelity and the need to know or remain in total oblivion. I vividly recall one of them begging us never to let her know if we ever catch her hubby creeping around with another woman. I was quite taken aback because by nature I am a very curious person who likes to lay all cards on the table and generally avert nasty surprises. I was quite stunned at her plea to remain in denial of the obvious, I still can't understand why some people would rather not know. 

I know for sure that I would want to know o! Just so I can know my stance and plan my life with or without the cheating spouse. Also, in this day and age, with all manners of sexually transmitted diseases being spread mostly as a result of cheating partners, why wouldn't anyone want to know if their partner is cheating from the onset in order to nip if in the bud and salvage the relationship/union?

STDs aside, I believe that when the one being cheated on knows sooner than later and brings it to light, it can also help the lust-driven cheating spouse see what he/she stands to lose if the affair isn't cut off pronto. After the lust-phase might come the love-phase so why risk the cheating spouse crossing over to that dark side when you can snoop, know and nip in the bud?

Would you snoop to ascertain or rest your fears or rather not snoop and remain in seemingly blissful denial?

Thursday, 25 December 2014

Merry Christmas Good People.....


I wish you all a very merry Christmas. May the goodness of the season be upon you and your household. The video below, Little Drummer Boy cover by Pentatonix, is such beautiful music from me to you all for taking the walk with me, from the onset till date. Kisses and hugs.



Wednesday, 24 December 2014

What Sharp Reflex He's Got. LOL

Hahahhahaa, this chap was checking out this chic who walked him while he was on the treadmill and of course he got distracted and fell. What he does next has to be the greatest come back of all time. LOL.

Watch and have a laugh.

Monday, 22 December 2014

Dreams................

This commercial was banned for being inappropriate but I find it hilarious and the concept genius. Have a laugh too.......................


Saturday, 20 December 2014

Indeed, He Is A Mighty God.

Hello dearest blog visitors, how have y'all been? Once again I apologize for not blogging for a bit. I've been really swamped with work, home stuff, Nigeria's palaver and the madness raging around the world. It all gets to me, the violence across the world and I find myself asking more and more after each reported tragedy, 'WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING? I really wish these terrorists would stop and desist from this senseless mission they have embarked on.

Sigh.

While feeling lost and dealing with issues surrounding me, I came across this song, Mighty God by Joe Praize and even though the song and musician have been around for at least two years, I only just heard this song a few days ago and I have been listening to it non-stop since then, and I mean absolutely non-stop! :)

There's something to serene about the voice, the lyrics, the tune, the harmony, his unique dance steps, everything. I thought to share in case there are others like me out there that have been in the dark about such a lovely song all this while and to rekindle the interest in those who have listened to it in the past.

Enjoy.



Thursday, 18 December 2014

I Apologize............


Dearly beloved and dedicated blog visitors, I sincerely apologize for my erratic blogging this past few days. It is due to the pressure at work as a result of the end of year preparations and added to that is that my kids have been a little bit under the weather so you can imagine how I really am. (Hehehe, but ofkess I can handle it because I'm built like that. :D)

I just thought I would explain properly to you all. The good thing is that my office closes officially for the year tomorrow (Whoop whoop doo bee doo wop wop *does a quick jiggy macarena dance*) so I can at least relax a bit and blog some more after clearing my head. I'm hoping to get a Macbook from Santa (hopefully) soon (hint hint ;) to help me blog better because my iPad isn't cutting it at all. My old Macbook has obstinately refused to be resuscitated (wipes lone tear from my eye).

Bottom-line, kindly pardon my absence. 

(*in Terminator's voice*) I'll Be Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your day. :)

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Evil Never Sleeps....



As if the gloom of Boko Haram and ISIS aren't enough, the Taliban decided to remind us of just how evil they are too (as though we can ever forget the mayhem they've caused and the atrocities they've been committing all these years) by bombing a school filled with children in Pakistan today. For God's sake, what manner of sick twisted minds conceives these plans a strategy to prove a senseless point?

New reports are saying no less than 126 people, mostly children, were killed today!! I read that they even set a teacher alight and made the children watch plus a suicide bomber detonated his bombs inside a classroom. Come onnnnnnnnn! I don't know why all the countries aren't coming together to squash these stupid blood-thirsty cowardly terrorists once and for all. I mean where are the Chinese and Koreans in this fight against terrorism? They certainly have the manpower, courage and ammo for a victory, if you ask me. 

I just keep wondering, was today's attack on Pakistan a revenge for the torture of suspects at Guantanamo or a piss-take because Malala most likely ruffled feathers with her Nobel prize and her brave and awesome speech? Either ways, NOTHING justifies what those beasts did today. Terrorists have shown that they have no boundaries when it comes to the lives of innocent people and as such they must be treated as such. Some media houses are now reporting that ISIS are putting live scorpions into bombs and settting them off in public places thus creating untold fear and utter chaos. Gosh!! Can this madness stop already?



Rest in peace all those who have lost their lives by the hands of terrorists.


The Incredible Human Body And Mind.






Watch this incredible video and marvel at the great lengths the human body and mind can be pushed to. Wow!!! Most issues like mild illnesses, frigidity, etc can actually be overcome by conditioning your mind into wellness and acceptance. See how this man owned his body using his mind. :)










Video Source: Youtube: Sea Bed Hunting On One Breath - Human Planet: Oceans, preview - BBC One

Monday, 15 December 2014

Religion: Good, Bad, Ugly.

Happy new week dear readers.


It's heartbreaking that this week is starting on such a sour note with the hostage situation in Australia. I only heard about it on my way to work earlier today and coincidentally, my hubby and I were just discussing the negative sides of religion when I read the news on my Twitter timeline. I find it really disgraceful and heartbreaking that fanatics have taken over religion around the world and their attitudes and actions are a far reflection of the God they claim to serve.

I look around me and see all the atrocities people get up to in the name of religion and I just wonder how we would all end up in a few years time if these things are not checked. It isn't religion that causes a man to strap a bomb on a young girl's chest and set it off in the middle of a busy market, it is madness under the guise of religion. This madness and cloak of disguise is what would make a man hold innocent people going about their duties, hostage. I cannot even begin to imagine the trauma those hostages are being subjected to.

This incident also makes me ponder and worry about the fate of the Chibok girls who were kidnapped over six months ago by the Boko Haram terrorists and of course the numerous other people they have kidnapped and held hostage since then. As you watch things unfold in Sydney, spare a thought and a prayer for those people and their plight. Unfortunately for them, there are no SWAT teams in place on a rescue mission surrounding where they are being held captive, our president is not on TV assuring the rest of us and them of the fight for their freedom. Life, in Nigeria, is going on as usual. 


I am a Christian and I love God and all but I'm appalled how the way some people go about religion entirely forgetting that the core of Christianity (and Islam?) is love. Just the other day, there was the news about a woman who was charged to court for biting her neighbour's scrotum. Yes, you read that right! Apparently, mr. neighbour had gone to his church to give a testimony about how God fought his battles for him by causing the poor woman's child to die because of the evil intentions she had towards him! Who. Does. That. Please??? Unless he caught her red-handed sticking pins and needles into an effigy of him and burning it up, while chanting evil stuff with his name on her lips, I would say he had that bite coming. If I were her lawyer, I would defend her by saying she suffered temporary insanity due to her intense grief and I will convince the judge of the madness that brought about the evil utterances of the neighbour. 


I also heard about a pastor who was preaching and saying that the reason why the sole survivor of a plane crash made it out alive was because she was a faithful tither!!! Well, pardon the rest of the world for letting her fly with mere unfaithful sinners. -_- I mean, it just gets worse and worse and if we keep allowing ourselves to be brainwashed into thinking like robotic morons simply because someone claims they have a superior calling to ours, then this can only end one way.

It's easy to rant and rave about these Christian and Muslim extremists but how different are we from them? The fact that some of us aren't physically beheading others or damaging their psyches physically doesn't take away the fact that we do so to them verbally and emotionally. You see a person in dire need but hurry past them rather than stop to help and assist. You don't genuinely love your neighbours as yourself talk less of being their keepers. You gossip, backbite, backstab, covet, envy, etc etc, yielding results that are emotional rather than physical. Same difference, I tell you.

Religion, like most things, has shown it has good, bad, and ugly sides. I only hope that the ugly sides that keep rearing it's head in the form of modern day terrorism will be curbed before it consumes us all. I pray that we will #BringBackOurGirls and the numerous others under siege, helplessly. I pray suicide bombings and the other atrocities being carried out by terrorists wold stop ASAP. I pray the hostage situation ends well for the hostages in Sydney.





Saturday, 13 December 2014

Why So Harsh!!!!!!??


This post isn't to bash men nor wave a feminism flag about in a howling wind. It is merely highlighting facts as they appear and occur around us. Ready?

Friday, 12 December 2014

Oldie But Goodie; Chin Up!!!!



I found this timeless song by Kelis and I thought to share and help get your Friday night grooving. I also shared it to encourage anyone out there who's caught between a rock and a hard place (relationship-wise), take deep breadths and don't be fooled by the same person twice. Uhn-uhn, don't fall for repeated lies and get yourself hurt. Stop being a prey to predators who play with your heart and mind. Stay strong and face the world boldly. You can do this....... #TGIF :)

Pride Surely Goes Before A Fall


When they said "Pride goes before a fall", they weren't kidding. Last week, the ridiculous tantrum thrown by Cho Hyun-ah shoki, a senior executive at Korean Air was reported all over the world. Hell broke loose when the plane she was on waited to take off and Cho Hyun-ah shoki was served some nuts in a bowl by a crew member which resulted to her flipping simply because she was served the macadamia nuts in a bag rather than in a dish in accordance with the airline's nut-handling guidelines.

Cho Hyun-ah shoki got really upset when she asked the poor chap to go fetch the airline's in-flight manual which showed these proper guidelines (Sighs at the serenres, no be small thing o) and instead, was given the wrong manual. She immediately requested that the plane be turned around and the crew member taken off the flight! (Ahn ahn!!) 


That thoughtless and haughty act of hers, by getting the pilot to turn the plane around to drop off the crew at the detriment of the entire passengers aboard thereby causing a delay, has now cost her her job as Head of Cabin Affairs and her dignity in her country and outside of it. She hung her head in shame and gave a cringing public apology for her unwarranted tantrum.

An apologetic Cho Hyun-ah

Things are even worse for her because her father, who also happens to be the airline chairman Cho Yang-Ho is clearly not in support of her haughty attitude and shameful behaviour which he has referred to as "foolish" and he's also gone as far as blaming himself for not raising her to know better, even though she is 40-years-old!!! He's said  she would resign from her executive roles at all affiliates of Hanjin, the group that controls Korean Air". She really overdid things this time around o.

Koran Air chairman Cho Yang-Ho

Moral of the story? Keep your temper in check, respect others and correct errors in love rather than with disdain, pride goes before a fall, don't brew a storm in a teacup........... before a flight, eat a gala and fan yogo and nuts wouldn't even matter enough to make you go nuts. #OkBye #TGIF
 

Photo Credit: Daily Mail, Twitter.

A Happy Ending.....


A few days ago, my whole core trembled as I learned that a housemaid somewhere in Magodo, Lagos had vanished with the two young children left in her care. I was dismayed and unable to function for a long while as I tried not to imagine the parents' anguish. I doubt if my frail heart can take such a test, having someone take my children away from me? Lord, have mercy. Naturally, upon hearing such news I once again flirted heavily with the thought of resigning and being a stay-at-home-mum or finding me a job that encouraged working from home. Balancing motherhood and career is becoming tougher and tougher and it seems like we are caught in between a rock and a hard place. Nobody really understands how tough parenting is until they wade in waist deep.

It wasn't too long ago that I wrote a post about the maid-from-hell here so I just couldn't bring myself to do another about these young kids. I however kept abreast of the news through people that knew the family and I prayed hard for them to be found soon and alive too. I'm glad to post now that they two young boys have been found alive and have been reunited with their parents. No matter what, that maid had absolutely no right to kidnap children left in her care and subject the parents to such heights of mental and emotional torture. I sincerely hope our police force would arrest all those involved in this kidnapping and make scapegoats of them with tough sentencing. Unconfirmed reports claim the parents had to pay N2.5million to the kidnappers before they got the kids back. Huge amount but pennies compared to the safe return of those innocent children. I will try to get more details about this case and post it here.

I would also like to implore other mothers out there to be extra cautious and to follow their guts and instincts, however irrational it may seem at the time, concerning their children. From my experience, every time I have had a hunch about a domestic staff, it turns out spot on. It is better to follow a hunch and find out it was nothing than to rationalize it and leave it only to regret later. Better safe than sorry, they say. Also, we cannot afford to be careless with whom we leave our children with. Just a few days ago, I read on twitter about how one of my followers saw her friend's children ALONE in a cab without any chaperone save for the cabbies himself. Apparently, the mother had a pressing hair appointment and called the cabbie to take her children home without any escort. Sigh. This is like a hundred shades of wrong. Parents, do not leave your children alone in the company of anyone that can cause them harm, no matter how closely related such persons are to you.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Buhari Emerges The Winner, Now What?


Atiku graciously congratulates Buhari on his win.

After a long nail-biting wait to see who would win the APC Presidential Primaries Election, General Buhari has come out tops with 3430 votes, while Kwakwanso, Atiku, Okorocha and Nda-Isaiah had 974, 954, 624 and 10 votes respectively. The voting was done in a well organized manner (minus the traffic situation it caused within Lag environs of course) and the results were seen as free and fair. I can only hope such peace and organization would be applied in February 2015 when the elections between both the PDP and APC presidential candidates takes place.

I also hope that of the masses who supported the other APC contestants would come together, maturely, and help campaign and vote for Buhari. We need all hands on deck to bring about the change we have been clamouring for. PDP has shown that they cannot handle the deeply rooted issues Nigeria has. Don't just sit back and relax, tell everyone you can especially the artisans and those at the grass-root level the reasons to vote right and wisely. I expect there would be numerous smear campaigns and the tribe and religious cards would be at the front line of such defamation, but it is up to you and I to find the truth, stick with it and spread it. thus erasing every doubts that may arise in the minds of others. Read and share this post ----> here if you need more information on how to go about enlightening others and yourself. 

The PDP has shown such lackadaisical leadership skills that the only way forward for Nigeria is to remove them from power and let people who are more determined to actually make things work, do so. Let's use the right attitudes and actions in ensuring an APC party win come February 2015. Don't allow ageism, tribalism or religious bias becloud your judgement. Remember that your vote is your power.  Think deeply,vote wisely and act right.





God Is Everywhere.



Even though a lot of Nigerians know this, I'm not sure they are fully aware of what it means. Some people have taken the concept of religion and God, spun into something so callously deluded and are now living a life based on such delusions. One thing I know about God is that He is big on Love and if you aren't showing selfless love to others, then you aren't there yet.

How on earth can you justify abandoning someone in dire need over your anxiety to get to church early for a weekly programme? That was what happened to someone I know a while ago. Her neighbour left her housemaid home alone and locked up in a room while she traveled. The other neighbour heard this poor girl's pitiful hungry cries, stopped briefly at the window to assess the situation, learnt the girl had been locked in without food for days, did nothing other than to say "I have to rush to church to drop my tithes today unfailingly"! It took the intervention of other tenants in the building to break down the door and rescue the distressed girl. Makes me wonder how acceptable her tithes were to God on that day. -_-

Only recently too, a friend's dad who was gravely ill was abandoned to his fate in the hospital, writhing in pains simply because the physiotherapist meant to massage him, help ease the pains in his limbs and what have you, chose to go attend his mid-week church programme. Who does that for crying out loud? I thought these medicals peeps took oaths to put the lives of others above their personal needs or something like that!

If only the religion they jeopardize other lives for reflects in their characters. So many religious people are merely bench-warmers who throw everything they've heard into the wind as soon as they step out of their religious houses. The preachings and teachings are not felt in their day-to-day lifestyles. They hear but do not listen, they certainly don't act in love most times. They have no true love or regard for the God they claim to love and serve, because if they did, loving and helping others would not be this much of an issue. The preachers don't help a lot in most cases because they have buttered and watered down the preachings choosing instead to talk about prosperity, out-of-the-world-wonder, etc. Hardcore preaching of love and kindness and the likes are not hammered into the congregations as they should.

Clearly selflessness and love have taken a back seat amongst us and people have misplaced their priorities by allowing themselves to follow religion blindly. These are the same reasons we are having problems with Boko Haram terrorists because the suicide bombers they use to carry out their deadly nefarious acts have equally been brainwashed to a point of no-return. 

You don't need to endanger a life because you want to go into a church or mosque to serve your God. He is everywhere, just reach out to Him anywhere.


Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Important Information For Widows.....




I got this information from a kind lady on Facebook and felt compelled to share it especially after I heard a horror story a widow went through recently. Please read, bookmark and share. It would come in handy for someone..........



This is information for widows, especially recent ones, if you know anyone who just lost her husbands. In as much as we pray and believe for long life for our spouses, life still happens. So, information is power. This is it:

1. Immediately upon the passing of a husband, a widow should get a death certificate from the hospital. Insist. If he died in a private hospital, get a government doctor to issue it. If he died at home, same thing. Have a death certificate in his legal name and keep it away from the house or from his family. Make a photocopy and keep with you and keep the original with a lawyer.

2. Go to the probate office in your state. I am made to understand it exists in every town. Get a simple form and file some documents that show that he is dead and list his properties and those you both own together.

3. There is a powerful association of female lawyers in Nigeria called the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA). This is their website in Nigeria www.fida.org.ng. Get in contact with this association wherever you are and get passionate and quality legal representation.

4. Let your first worries not be money. The above stages are not expensive.

5. Do all these without the knowledge of your in-laws or even your own family members.

I am not sure if number 1 and 2 are all the stages to complete, but you would be advised at the probate office if there are any others and of course, a female lawyer from the federation will give you full counsel and free.

The bottom-line is though the death of a loved one, especially a loving husband is painful, be strong for yourself and your children. If it happens to a woman you know, be strong with her and take her through this process and make sure that these documents are kept away from the family and not in her possession. Which means that any lawyer familiar with your husband and his family members is out of the question. Get a neutral one, preferably from the Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA).
This is what will secure her children's inheritance and get the law on her side against the greedy hands of others.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

While You Slept, They Rigged.....

I had an early night last night (10pm is early in my books o) and needless to say, I woke up by midnight (I used to chair Twitter's InsomniacAnonymousmeeting. Lol). I, of course, went to catch up with news on twitter and my oh my, wasn't it agog with near tangible excitement over the results of the PDP gubernatorial primaries election.

Apparently, the election within the PDP was rigged with figures clearly not matching. Reports claim there were 806 accredited delegates while total votes counted were 875!! It's a shocking disgrace that such blatant tomfoolery can occur within a party such as PDP, but even more scary for me is that this just might be a reflection of what's to come next year during the presidential elections!!! If indeed the election was rigged, then the whole idea of democracy in Nigeria is a sham and a travesty.

There have been all sorts of bants flying all over twitter, some hilarious and others downright malicious. Even more worrisome for me is the fact that someone present at the scene of the rigging voting claims a party chief tried to stop one of the contestants, Gbadamosi, who then lashed out at him claiming that the party chief collected 1.5 million Naira from him to secure his vote. If this were to be a sane country, Gbadamosi would be cooling his heels with the police by morning and breaking that statement down clearly but this is Nigeria, sadly, a land of "anyhowness"! Mind you, this same Gbadamosi also allegedly came to the venue wearing a bulletproof vest, while encouraging people to come out to vote. He clearly has the safety of the people in mind. -_-

For the life of me, I would never truly understand Obanikoro's campaign promising Lagosians better toilet facilities! I still think that campaigns stinks like the one of an empty promise of "fresh air for Nigerians"! (What pun?) Clearly, we've still not learnt from our past mistakes that any politician who cannot make tangible promises in a clear manifesto to do right by the people is just a sham. These politicians would only begin to take us seriously when we take ourselves seriously. It's time to wake up, think and act fellow Nigerians. It's time to catch up with the times and progress from the dark ages we seem stuck in and fixated with.

We need to be able to separate the chaff from the wheat with these politicians by their utterances and actions. We need to ask pertinent questions and stop celebrating mediocrity. Nigeria can do so much better than we presently are because we have more than enough resources to achieve this but first our mindset needs to catch up with life and the reality of the times we are in.

I hope we get things right time, for our sake and  our children's.

I'm off to bed now. Pardon any typos there might be, it's 1.56am. :) Sleep well. 

Monday, 8 December 2014

Much Ado About A Ruling.....

 
I was rather dismayed to learn that the judge presiding over the Shrien Dewani case had cleared him in having a hand in his wife's murder. This case has been on for four years and I have been following it because it was a rather peculiar case. Shrien had been fingered as the mastermind behind his wife's (Anni's) murder during their honeymoon in South Africa. As a matter of fact, three men - Tongo, Mziwamadoda Qwabe and gunman Xolile Mngeni - have been convicted for their roles in carrying out the murder of Anni. These men claimed that Shrien hired them to stage a kidnap/robbery as a cover for the murder. 
Anni's family in tears after the verdict. :(
I feel awful for her family that it's all come down to this after all these years, and I cannot imagine their anguish at this verdict. The judge feels there were too many loopholes from the witnesses' evidence and it wasn't enough to convict Shrien. I wish Shrien had been made to take the stand and tell his part, maybe things would have been more clearer as per what transpired that fateful night. 
 
Shrien Dewani -_-

While I cannot imagine how his life would be within his community, moving forward, it still doesn't take away the hurt the victim's family.

Rest in peace Anni Dewani.









Sunday, 7 December 2014

Accepting People For How They Were Created


I came across this touching video and I felt the need to share it. We need to open up our minds to those around us and show kindness and fairness to everyone, regardless of what they do, what  they look like, who they chose to worship, etc. The physically challenge deserve loads of love too.

" Disabled mannequins were displayed at Zurich’s Bahnhofstrasse.  They were placed between the perfect mannequins.  Some have malformed spines, others have shortened limbs, but they are all modelling the latest fashion.  This campaign was started to celebrate the International Day of Persons with Disabilities.  The company who hosted it Pro Infirmis, is a group representing disabled people.  They titled their campaign “Because who is perfect? Get closer.”  It was created to make people passing by reflect on people with disabilities.  Everyone should be accepted and represented, we are all human beings."

Read more at http://www.sun-gazing.com/thought-provoking-campaign-represents-people-disabilities/#JMv3uqwydQIMtauO.99 "

Saturday, 6 December 2014

BlogFeature: A.B.I.G.A.I.L


The article below is written by one of my BlogFeature writers Toyin Femi-Akinlade and once again, she's written a beautiful piece which cuts across an issue I feel needs to be looked into from the perspective she's written from. Enjoy, learn and share. 

A.B.I.G.A.I.L

My favourite position when I need to think, meditate or strategize is to lay flat completely on my back. It's for this reason I have been agitating for a sofa bed (yes, as a boss lady) in my office. My MD, who also doubles as my hubby (the latter came before the former actually so it's not an office romance something ;) however feels differently and yet he wants more of those brilliant ideas of mine. Sigh. Life can sometimes be like fermented zobo.

So on this day I'm thinking to myself, agreed I signed a lifetime contract with my significant other which includes sharing everything, secrets inclusive perhaps, am I really supposed to share EVERYTHING?! Like share every thought, every idea, plan, particularly when such is still at the forming stage?

What am I on about? Well I'll let you know. To buttress my point, I'll like to share yet another story with you from my 'Book of Bible Stories' (who remembers this book :). It is the story of a beautiful, delectable woman called Abigail, married to a man who was her exact opposite. Not a big deal because ain't opposites supposed to attract anyways, if my knowledge of elementary science hasn't failed me? But that's not even the crux of my story. We are later told of how David had sent word to Nabal (Abigail's hubby) telling him of how he and his men had been kind to his shepherds and he was generally expecting Nabal to appreciate his kind gesture either in cash or in kind. More like an 'anything for the boys' kind of thing; as we say in these parts.

For where? Oga Nabal just do 'eyes right' for David. As far as he was concerned, they were miscreants who may have escaped from their masters and were trying to squeeze favors out of him. David clearly wasn't pleased because it couldn't have cost him anything to kill Nabal's boys and take his herd of sheep (a prized possession at the time) away. He there and then decided since Nabal did not appreciate his act of kindness, death was his lot. Sadly, the death sentence was not only passed on him but his entire household as well.

Enters Abigail. One of Nabal's servant who most likely thought about Abigail and how she did not deserve to suffer for a crime she did not commit, ran to her and quickly gave her heads up. As a wise woman, she promptly gathered stuff, strategised on how to get through to David and quickly swung into action as soon as she met him. She apologized on her husband's behalf. In business lingo, she would have been said to have negotiated with David, marshalling out her points and pleading for mercy. But still this is not the crux of my story.

What then is it? It is the fact that as soon as she got the situation report and thought out her game plan she did not let out a word of it to her husband!!! These words jumped at me when I read them. What?! Were we not taught to always run things by our husbands? How could she have gone on such risky venture on her own? What was she thinking?


Can I talk to the sister Ruths in the house? Yes you. Sister Ruth is a wife whose whole life and existence revolves round Brother Boaz her husband. If they must move their bowels, daddy has to approve even to pass wind it must not escape daddy's notice. Hello!

For those already calling for the chopping board and butcher, kindly hear me out first. Let me tell you the flip side of this story I just shared. Nabal aside from his very nasty nature (which I am not saying our husbands are, God forbid!), was also an egocentric Alpha male like any of his specie (this is the only point I draw a similarity please). If Abigail had as much as hinted her husband about what the servant said  to her not to even talk of her well thought out plan to avert the unpleasant situation, her plans would have been DOA- Dead On Arrival! Why? Because Nabal's ego rather than his logical mind would have talked Abigail out of her plans, even though it was a plan that will save them all.

As much as we love our husbands and we are partners with them, co-captains in steering the ship of the home cum marriage to safety, it is not everything we must share with them. Not everytime share; sometimes withhold from sharing. We are not withholding because we think them dingbats with no gumption to make a sound decision. We choose to withhold not because we also want to assert our feminine authority, whatever that means. We withhold not because we need to also show off the fact that beneath the expensive weave or human hair is a mass of finely crafted grey matter by the Master Sculptor Himself. NO!!!


A wise woman who when she perceives that on a particular issue, it is the man's ego and not his logical mind that will do the talking and reasoning, is best advised to withhold from sharing that bit of information. She is however at liberty to share as soon as she sees that his ego has taken the back seat and his logical self is behind the wheels. This doesn't just apply to marriages only but even in our dealings with male bosses or business partners.

For those who still don't catch my drift, permit  me to be vulnerable with you by sharing a personal story. I know this certain couple who today have been together for almost four decades. The hubby some twenty eight years ago was a Principal Manager in UBA of old (i.e. before the merger or is it acquisition now with Standard Trust). The wife on the other hand was a Senior Nursing sister in a private hospital. As a good wife, she urged her husband to buy a piece of land as is the wise thing to do after been married a couple of years. He agreed. He bought the land only that it was in an area he didn't consider as a choice area for him at the time, so he just bought the land and moved on. Still the wife encouraged him to  fence their parcel of land in order to prevent 'land grabbers' from cunningly selling a part of it. After much ado, he agreed only that by the time he did, almost half plot was gone. He couldn't be bothered anyway.

Again madam encouraged;

 'Why don't we just put up a structure, a bungalow maybe. We could just start from there then as soon as we can afford it, we will buy land in your choice area and build another house there. Then we'll just rent this out.'

This was the point madam met with a stiff resistance from Oga's ego. He would have none of it. In fact, she was warned never to talk about the parcel of land again. She obeyed but like Abigail, she kept her plans to herself. She with her colleagues pooled money together monthly out of their meagre salary and rotated the money amongst themselves. What we call 'ajo', 'esusu' in this part. As soon as it got to her turn to get the contribution, she moved in pronto to the site to start developing it. After all, she had only be  warned not to talk about it not do something to it. ;)

She started with foundation first, gradually having gotten an architect to draw a building plan for her, she got to work with the little she had. Then something happened suddenly. The game changer! Landlord increased the  rent and asked for two years upfront payment for a house they had lived in for more than five years. What?! This was what kicked oga's ego out of the way and his logical mind swung into full gear immediately. 
He thought,

'Rather than pay this ridiculous increment to this my Shylock landlord, why don't I add some more and spend it on my site instead?'

Oga then with no recourse to madam, decided to go to the site to see the situation of things. As he drove down, he's mentally noting the things that needs to be done for starters. The need to get some labourers to clear the land as it would have naturally been overgrown with weeds, the need to get back in touch with his building contractor etc. Imagine his shock when on getting to the site he sees not a land overgrown with weeds but with foundation already laid and labourers on site. By one side he also sees stacks of bags of cement and his thought is that his land had been sold to someone else.

As he starts to shout and beckons on one of the site workers to find out what is going on, the omo onile (land merchant) who happened to be around at the time strolls out of the makeshift shed on the site with a widening smile on his face further stretching his tribal marks.
'Very good', he says
'So this is the kind of dubious thing you people do', he continues
'Dubious thing? I was just going to greet you and tell you it's been awhile you came around. I guess it's because of your busy schedule. Madam has been doing a very good job anyway.'
'What are you talking about? Which madam is that?,' oga fires at him.
'Err.. Sir do you have more than one wife? It's your wife, mummy that I'm talking about.'

To say oga was shocked will be an understatement. How did she do it? With which money? Few months later, the building was completed. It's been twenty one years since oga has been a landlord. Some of his colleagues were not so lucky. Some of them ate with their ten fingers speaking figuratively, some were forcefully retired before they could get round to completing their house. The oga in question is my dad and the madam... my mum of course.



Be wise. Be an A.B.I.G.A.I.L

Article by: Toyin Femi-Akinlade
Twitter: @y_toyin