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Sunday, 15 May 2016

#DearBuki: My Husband Is Hung Like A Horse!

Hello dear blog readers, how has your day been? I have started a column tagged #DearBuki where you can send whatever issues weighing on your minds and I would do my best to proffer solutions to them by giving my opinion and showing other perspectives to them. I do a lot of these guidance and counselling offline so I felt the need to bring it on my blog. Do send me an email on and we will put heads together. Check out the other posts here.

As they say, a problem shared, is a problem half solved................ :)


Dear Buki, you don't know me but I'm a silent follower on Twitter and on a Viber group you're in and some days ago, I saw how you responded to a case someone had screenshot and posted in the group. Knowing you run a blog and have this #DearBuki segment prompted me to write in to you because I am in such dilemma myself.

The case I'm talking about is about the woman who can't keep up with her husband's large penis. If I didn't know better, I'd say I wrote the post myself because my story is so similar to hers. I guess it was somehow comforting realising that I'm not alone in such "suffering", when I read her story.

Buki, my husband also convinced me of staying away from sex before marriage. I thought it was due to his discipline and religion and I was fine with it. I never saw him naked during our courtship, he made sure of that. We kissed and made out but I never fully saw or properly felt his "package" before our wedding night. So imagine my shock and dismay when he pulled it out on our wedding night, a few months ago.

My husband is hung like a horse and he bruises me every time we have sex. I saw 'have sex' because he does not make love to me, but rather gets almost aggressive and forceful during these torturous sessions. I am so sore and bruised and I have no one to talk to about this because my parents are siblings are very uptight and prudish. I cry daily once it is 6pm because I know the pain the night holds for me. I have tried to make him see reason but he just can't and so I have decided to get a divorce before he ruptures my womb and kills me.

I wanted to hear your opinion before contacting a lawyer. I really cannot continue this way Buki, please help me.

Thank you.

Bruised Lea.


Dear Bruised Lea, thank you so much for writing in and seeking help on my platform. I am sorry that your marriage has started on such a painful note. I guess it must be really unbearable for you to be considering divorce so soon after your marriage. Before you tow the divorce line, let me try to shed some light on your situation and give you a few tips to make things better for both of you.

First of all, both of you need to communicate better to get to the bottom of this. Most men with huge penises do not often have the luck of meeting compatible partners prior to marriage and so they result to other means of getting sexual pleasures such as constant masturbation, visiting sex hawkers, etc. When a man frequents a sex hawker over the years, he does not make love but has sex with them. He takes advantage of the rare chance of being with a woman, albeit a paid one, and he lets lose all his inhibitions. While I'm not saying this might be the case with your hubby, I am laying it out so you can have an idea of why he could be the way he is. If that's all a man has known when it comes to being with a woman then you might understand the aggressive sex sessions and see how to teach him to make love.

Secondly, you both need to see a sex counsellor and a marriage counsellor ASAP. These professionals would help you get through the kinks in your marriage but getting to the root cause of the issues you are both facing. Before quitting, one must simply try other avenues to make things work.

Thirdly, I want you to know and condition your mind that the vagina was made elastic to stretch  and accommodate penises and even babies. It is how it was designed so when your husband takes it slowly with you, makes great use of lubricants and you condition your mind to acceptance, you will be surprised at how easier it would be to accommodate his size. I am pretty sure his penis cannot be wider than a 4kg new born baby's head, no? So with tenderness, understanding and lots of good lubricants, you can both make your sex life enjoyable and also make your marriage work.

Finally, I wish you both only the very best as you show him this post and try the tips.

Take care of you.

Buki O. 


  1. Hi dear
    So sorry about the ugly experience you have had to deal with however I think Bukky has done justice to the issue raised I however suggest that you adopt or try what I have to say. You should make out time to discuss the hurts with your husband without condemning him but make it clear you really love his body and wish to have a better experience with him if only he would allow u guide him let him understand that the aftermath of love making shouldn't be pains but huge blood rush in the system and some heavy breathing and dizziness or pillow talks not pain recovery. I think you should be the one to steer the ship but first u need to condition you mind and believe that your body is built to take it as it comes. Then u guide him through the entire process till you both understand each others body from the point of penetration to thrusting through till climax occurs. This should go on till u have gotten used to his body and he has also adjusted his pace and mindset to meet your level then you guys can try various styles and enjoy your bodies. OK bye thank me later

    1. Thanks a bunch Tena. I pray it works out for them, both.

  2. Great and enlightening conversation on this topic going on on my TL on Twitter. Follow me @survivor17 and let's learn together.


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